My Lost friend:The find within

My Lost friend:The find within

Good news as I would like to call it always has contagious nature. Its endemic behavior allows it to fast spread across faces around you. Happy news no doubt has a heavenly power of enthralling us with insane positivism almost an unsung, unspoken spirituality. Incoming news often lets your anger, ego and all the demonizing things about you out of the system. You start feeling silly about the last fight and unimaginable guilt fills within you about the last harsh words that you had shot at a person. In a way its equivalent to a once in a life time pilgrimage that overpowers your inhumane emotions with the humane one.

Interestingly I have good news as well. I just found my lost friend. It’s almost prayer heard and hence has allowed my soul to become self enunciated almost has made me an enlightened one. That is very subjective though. I often have this habit of talking to myself more often, especially when I am walking. I kind of have lot of emotions and things to share with myself. Lot of queries which I would have wanted to discuss with my late father but following his death I guess I have created this big cocoon around myself where the emotions and queries start and end within me. But over a period I have discovered that when you actually talk to yourself you actually get a lot answers. In a way I have been my friend, my soul mate in times of smile and in times of grief. But I thoroughly enjoyed my company it just makes me aware about my feeling and I guess just allows me to be a better person.

But Interestingly I met a friend. A friend who shares similar emotions to mine and when I talk with the friend it almost feels that I am talking to myself. The friend seems no different to me. I don’t know how that happened but we have similar disinterest about watching movies in cinema halls, almost similar likeness for a particular genre of songs. What caught me by surprise was that the friend had similar thoughts to mine with regards to spending habits which is a thoughtful expenditure as well as our views about people also matched.

But what was even more interesting was even some of my inborn and deep seated weakness also happened to match, which I have not told the friend. My new found friend is bit lazy with things. Although the friend leaves no stone unturned when it comes to helping friends and family but when it come down to own self the friend is careless and uninterested in self, a story quite similar to mine. My friend expresses emotions through tears and so do I in my moment of seclusion. I guess though we both may have projected our-self as one strong individual fighting out all odds but we do have our won moment of fragility. I am sometimes reluctant and adamant about things. It pretty works well to attain goals in life but sometime its does make you insensitive and unwilling to listen to suggestions from people around. The friend unfortunately has similar characteristics.

So talking to yourself who is actually not you is interesting and often strange. Although I carry a baggage of confidence and unfathomable positivism, I do share with myself my share of insecurities, my deep seated fears. But I guess it’s time to venture out the deep boiling thoughts. Although my inefficiencies are my true friends for they show the actual me but I guess it’s time to overcome my deep seated fears.

For the readers it may be a bit confusing specially the painting that has been posted. Following completing the writing part I just wondered what painting would be appropriate and it just occurred to me that if I talk to somebody and feel that as if I am talking to myself then the painting could be my own portrait, do you think so?

Dedicated to my new found friend and friend’s pacifying remarks


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